“Flamable Paper Towels.” Or, “Stupid Quote of the Day.”

Wyoming Valley West School District Superintendant Chuck Suppon explaining how paper towels ignite on their own. Photo from the Citizens Voice.

While eating lunch today, which consisted of BBQ chicken tenders, french fries and apple sauce, I checked the local news online. I’m afraid I may need to run home and check all my paper towels to make sure they don’t ignite on their own causing my house to burn down. Why?

Wyoming Valley West School District Superintendent Chuck Suppon is quoted as saying a fire in a boys lavatory at the Main Street Elementary School is being investigated “to see if it was started by someone, or just something that occurred that ended up marking [sic] paper towels flammable or some such cause.”

Oh Chuckie, you’re the sup, you’re an educated man, you should know that paper towels don’t spontaneously ignite just 15 minutes after the start of school. Admit it, one of your scallywags walked into the bathroom, lit the paper towels on fire hoping to get out of that 5th grade math exam this morning.

But maybe he knows something the rest of us don’t. Do paper towels ignite on their own? What about toilet paper? Kleenex?

Be afraid. Be very afraid.