I can only think of one good thing that comes from this so-called holiday we’re about to celebrate and that’s the classic horror movies that make their once a year appearance on Turner Classic Movies. Other than that, unless you’re selling candy or cheap costumes, what good is Halloween?

This crazy celebration of all things nonsensical got its roots long before plastic Nixon masks started to be imported from China. Some say Halloween was originally a day set aside to celebrate the end of summer. Unless you live  on the equator, I can’t find many reasons to celebrate such an event. Others say Halloween got its start as a pagan holiday, much like Administrative Professionals Day.

On Monday, schoolkids all across the country will get dressed in crazy outfits, whether they want to or not, and parade around their school while parents gawk, snap pictures and talk about the one kid who’s costume isn’t as good as the rest. Along the line, someone will trip and fall a lawsuit will ensue and our school taxes will go up.

After dinner, parents will march their kids around the neighborhood begging for candy. Some of the more hip parents will pack their kids into the mini-van and head to a neighborhood ten miles away “where the rich people live” in a quest to get better sweets. Later that night, their efforts pay off as their kids can’t sleep because they’re hopped up on sugar and have vomited at least twice.

I remember Halloween as a kid. I remember bitching about the dentist the next street over who handed out tooth brushes instead of sweets. I remember being afraid to eat the candy I collected because someone may have put a razor blade in the Snicker’s bar. And I still remember which neighbors gave out the dollar bills and which gave out the pennies.

Holidays are all a little crazy I guess. We associate Easter with a rabbit who lays eggs. Christmas with a fat man who glides effortlessly down chimneys. Valentine’s day with a chubby, naked guy and Thanksgiving with football and tryptophan.

It’s funny that we don’t want to break the news to our kids that there’s no such thing as Santa or the Easter Bunny until their 18, but it’s fine to scare the pants off them with ghost stories and pranks that will lead to a lifetime of bedwetting all in the name of Halloween. I guess it all falls into that category called, “the joys of parenting.”

While you’re out warning your kids not to trip over their costume, or not to go to old man McGreevy’s house because he does put razor blades in the Snicker’s, I’ll be home with the porch light out, my Depends on, and the television tuned into Bela Lugosi.

He does play a mean Vampire.

I’m not a chocolate fan.

Now, now… I didn’t say I “hate” chocolate, or I “don’t like” chocolate… I’m just not a fan. Maybe my disdain for this confection comes from being exposed to such cheap drug-store brands like Russell-Stover or Whitman’s as a young lad. Or maybe it had something to do with eating way to many 3 Musketeer bars and spending the night repositioning them into a bucket next to my bed.

Whatever the reason, I’m just not a fan. Except at Easter time.

Oh, Easter! The one time a year when Cadbury makes the only chocolate I’ll eat – the Cadbury Mini Eggs. These irresistible nuggets of milk chocolate shaped like a bird’s egg and coated in a crispy, sugary, candy shell are my weakness. Just ask Pam, the owner of BlairCandy.com.

When she told me that she spent this past weekend getting all the Easter candy up for sale on her eCommerce store, I knew this was the moment I’ve been waiting for. Just a few weeks ago, I finished the last bag of Cadbury Mini Eggs I had left from last Easter. You see, I buy a lot and keep a candy dish filled with them throughout the year, so when it’s time for a quick Mini Egg fix, they’re right there.

Today, I received my order of three cases of these sugary delights from BlairCandy.com.

• 108 bags.

• 1,080 ounces of chocolate.
• 1 year’s worth of way too much chocolate.
• Far too many calories to even think of.

But who cares! I’ve got a year’s supply of the only chocolate candy I eat and I’m happy.

If you’re looking to get a chocolate fix or if you have a hankering for some nostalgic candy, head on over to Pam’s website and see all the delicious confections she offers, and tell her I sent ya.

Just don’t buy up all the Mini Eggs, I may be back for more…

Headbanger’s Holiday
Yesterday was Halloween, the one day a year when kids think the world owes them a sugar high. I don’t get the whole “Halloween thing.” Yes, as a child I too dressed up in ridiculous looking costumes, parading down the street and ringing doorbells at night singing silly ditties looking for a handout. Then upon returning home, usually spent the night vomiting due to the excessive candy intake.

Now I spend Halloween with the lights out, the doors bolted, shades drawn and as far away from my house as I could be.

So before heading to Arturo’s in Boca Raton for dinner last night, I took a shower. While exiting, I slipped, slammed my head off the marble sink and went down for the count for about a minute. Happy Halloween.

With a massive headache and a bout with the dizzies I still managed to enjoy a great Italian meal at my new found favorite restaurant.

Today, the headache and dizziness was gone, but I can’t remember stupid stuff! I got lost going to the Boca Beach Club – a place I go to almost daily – had to look up phone numbers of people I call all the time, and couldn’t remember the password to log onto my laptop.

I’m not too concerned about it, after all, they say only the good die young. I’ll be around to 103.

The Flu
One thing I wanted to do today was get a flu shot. I was anticipating getting both the seasonal flu vaccine along with the H1N1 vaccine, but noooooo.

First off, it took visits to five Walgreen’s to finally find one with the vaccines available. Since you can’t get the two shots at the same time, I opted for the seasonal flu one since the line was a lot shorter.

Two and a half hours later, I had my shot. There were people waiting over four hours for the H1N1 vaccine, to which I say, never on a Sunday! So I have to wait till December to get the other shot and with my luck I’ll either have the swine flu by then or there will be no more vaccine available.

The Tube
While watching television this afternoon, I realized that we, the viewers, are getting the shaft!

I was watching a movie on TBS and I noticed that throughout the entire film, nearly 1/3 of the screen was taken up by the TBS logo and a promo for the George Lopez show. To that I say, WTF?

Look, I’m a marketing guy and will use every opportunity to get my message out there, but this is just a plain annoyance. About 10 years ago, the “bug” started appearing in the corner of our screens. That’s the station’s logo that sits down there to remind us that we’re watching NBC, like we would forget. Now, in addition to the “bug” we get static ads like the one for Lopez, or full video ads like you see on Discovery or The History Channel.

The images you see below show the screen I’m referring to along with the percentage of the screen that the ad takes up. I’m not a fan of this new type of advertising, as I think it’s pretty annoying. Maybe it wouldn’t be too bad if it only appeared for a few seconds here and there, but for it to be visible all the time, well, that’s unacceptable.

Maybe TBS and the rest of the networks who do this would like to pay 1/3 of my cable bill.

Yeah, right.

The original screen shot showing the position of the bug and the ad on TBS.

The same screen showing the percentage of the screen that is taken up by the bug and the ad.