Scott Sanfilippo | eCommerce Pioneer | Solid Cactus Co-Founder » Rachel Uchitel

"Happy New Year." Or, "Good Riddance, Now Lets Move On."

Scott Sanfilippo — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 00:06:26 +0000

Ok, so I’m a couple days late bidding 2009 a fond farewell.

Well, it’s not a “fond” farewell. It’s more like good riddance, thank God it’s over and lets move on.

The year that just passed is one that contained moments I’d like to remember and moments I pray to forget. I sold one of my businesses which relieved me of a great deal of stress while at the same time dealing with the end of a 16-year relationship that forced me to start my life anew.

Always up for a challenge, I faced what was thrown at me head-on, recreating myself every step of the way. I took on a new role in the company I helped build over the last seven years, one with less responsibility so I can one again enjoy what I do.

I bought a new home and started a new life in south Florida where the weather is warmer, my mood is better and my productivity is, well… up. I kept my home in Scranton and rack up the frequent flyer miles traveling back and forth each week to spend a few days in the office and to enjoy the company of my two Chihuahua’s who haven’t made the move to Florida yet.

I refinanced my mortgage from some crazy rate in the high 7′s to something around 5. I was told that I was acting “responsible” by doing that, so it made me feel good, and it leaves me with more money at the end of the month to squander on vices such as…. well, let’s not go there.

I still didn’t get to the dentist for this toothache that has plagued me since after Thanksgiving. I’m still waiting for the dentist to respond to the “Contact Us” form I submitted on his website and the note I posted on his Facebook page. I have an iPhone and since every phone call I make or receive with AT&T gets disconnected, so I have to resort to other means of communication. So when my upper right molar falls out due to rot, I’ll blame Apple.

I enjoyed blogging about all the corruption in Luzerne County that was finally brought to light in 2009. It makes me happy to see people like Greg Skrepenak, Jeff Piazza and all these other small-time gangsters who think they’re Al Capone get caught with their fingers up their ass. I’m still waiting for one person in particular to get nabbed, who will remain nameless, but those close to me know exactly who he is.

I’m looking forward to 2010 to see how many more skanky women will say they got their hands on Tiger Wood’s club. I’m scared to see just how bad President Obama is going to wreck the health care system, which makes me want to get this tooth looked at even sooner. I’m not looking forward to the day when the terrorists finally do carry out another attack on the United States. We dodged a big bullet on Christmas Day because of multiple failures in the government, and being a man of very little faith, I don’t feel all that safe knowing a plane almost got blown up because warning signs were ignored for months.

It’s time to move forward.

Time to forget the mistakes of the past and concentrate on not making them again in the future.

So start working on that.

As for me, I’m still going to be the crazy, miserable, son-of-a-bitch you’ve come to know and love/hate. After all, everybody can’t buy into this “new year – new you” crap you know!

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“Teach me Tiger.” Or, “Tiger Woods' Public Colonoscopy”

Scott Sanfilippo — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 17:17:38 +0000

(Photo by NBC Via Hulu) Saturday Night Live guest host Blake Lively and regular Kenan Thompson spoof Elin Nordegren and Tiger Woods

His yacht is ironically named “Privacy.”

It used to be a word associated with Tiger Woods. The golfer led a life dominated only by headlines related to his golf game. But it was the other game that brought Tiger down, the game of infidelity.

The apparently happily married couple were suddenly forced into the limelight after Woods crashed his pimp-mobile outside his home. It was then that we found out that the boyish looking golf pro was actually a cougar hunter. The women who reportedly had affairs with Tiger were coming forward faster than a group of roaches when the lights are turned off.

Oh the price of fame.

Here in Palm Beach County, FL, the newspapers are abuzz with stores of Tiger’s yacht being stocked with food, Elin Nordegren (Woods’ wife) taking their son to lunch, and one of Tiger’s mistresses, Rachel Uchitel, doing some shopping at Publix in Palm Beach. This is Christmas day for the media and the paparazzi on the hunt for the elusive cat who is being closely guarded by his handlers.

Today we’re hearing that Elin wants out and has reportedly stopped wearing her wedding ring. To that I say, “You go girl!” At the same time, the philanderer was named “Athlete of the Decade” by the Associated Press. I have mixed feelings on this one. His accomplishments should be recognized, but now wasn’t the time to do it.

I don’t feel sorry for Tiger. I feel sorry for his wife and children who now have to deal with the fallout caused by a cheater. All the money and fame in the world will never wipe away the stain caused by someone who just couldn’t keep it in his pants.

"Things That Make Me Say, Huh?" Or, "That's Life in These United States."

Scott Sanfilippo — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 22:38:57 +0000

Today’s news was filled with so many items worthy of commentary, I’d need more hours in the day to spew my words of wisdom. So in a departure from the norm, I’m going to address several at once.

The Wilkes-Barre Area School Board President is a Gangster

Frankie Pizzella. He's not guilty. He just signed a paper saying he is.

I wish I could have been at the Tuesday night meeting of the Wilkes-Barre Area School Board when the brain trust in charge of shaping the education of our youth voted to make indicted criminal Frankie Pizzella president of the board.

If you recall, Frankie has signed a plea deal with the feds for acting as the middle-man when he accepted $5,000 in cash from someone looking to get a teaching job in the district and passing it on to a school board member. The Pizz wasn’t on the board at the time, but does that matter? He gets to see how long he’s going to be wearing an orange jumpsuit on December 16th. Merry Christmas Frankie.

Showing just how arrogant fellow board members are, Phil Latinski is quoted as saying, “Because everybody is innocent until proven guilty,” when asked by he voted Frankie for Prez. Hey big boy, wake up. Frankie signed a plea agreement admitting guilt. Maybe you should go back to school and learn exactly what “guilty” means and stop quoting Jack Webb.

Superintendent Jeff “I’m Lee’s Brother” Namey said “having Pizzella, with this extensive background in construction, on the board and as president has saved the district hundreds of thousands of dollars.” I’d like to see those contracts and have them reviewed by an independent third party.

Pizzella on the other hand says he “did nothing wrong.” So why did he sign a plea deal? Maybe he thought he was signing a petition to reduce federal sentencing guidelines for those indicted in federal corruption probes. Or perhaps he’s just dillusional and actually thinks he did nothing wrong.

Educators and members of school boards are supposed to be role models for the students they are supposed to be watching over. Having someone who signed a plea deal for accepting a bribe leading the school board is just plain wrong. What kind of message is this sending to students?

The members of the school board who voted “Yes for the Pizz” should be forced to resign their board position and Jeff Namey should be relieved of his duties as super. They are clearly derelict in their responsibilities.

How Many Pastries Make Up a Truckload?

Luzerne County Comissioner Greg Skrepenak leaving a Commissioner's meeting after hearing mention of a truckload of pastries being spotted on Route 309 in Dallas.

It’s the tale of a 707-pound black bear and a “truckload of pastries.” Charles Olson Jr. shot the poor creature by luring it to a pile of sugar laden delights and shooting it.

According to the Times Leader, Wildlife Conservation Officer Cory Bentzoni became suspicious of Olsen when he saw him with a “truckload of pastries along Route 309 in Dallas.”

How does one obtain a “truckload of pastries?”

I won’t go into my views of hunting, but let’s just say that this bear lived a long time to become 707-pounds and it’s a shame his life had to come to an end on top of a pile of Krispy Kremes.

Skrep Goes Silent

Please Greg, don't speak. Go look for the pastries.

Our illustrious county commissioner Greg “I Played for Michigan” Skrepenak refused to testify in front of the commission setup to investigateee the Kids for Cash scandal involving former Luzerne County judges Mark Ciavarella and Michael Conahan.

This is the same commissioner who, along with former commissioner Todd “The Elitist” Vonderheid, signed the sweetheart deal to lease the very detention center which directly and indirectly feathered the nest of Conahan and Ciaverella.

Skrep says he decided to keep his lips sealed on the advice of his attorney. What this really means is that his attorney knows that Skrep can’t form complete sentences and is scared to death that the dumb jock may come out and say something that may incriminate him later on, so he ordered him to shut up.

Petrilla Spills the Beans

Maryann is the one in the middle. I think.

Gangster thug, I mean gangster judge, Mike Conahan told Luzerne County Commissioner Maryanne Petrilla that if she fired former county manager/chief clerk Sammy Guesto, “you will be finished.”

This revelation came out during Tuesdays testimony into the Kids for Cash scandal involving Conahan and Ciavarella. Guesto was the so-called mastermind behind the debit card debacle in which he failed to document over $40,000 worth of expenses employees and elected officials put on county issued debit cards. One of the charges included drinks purchased by then deputy prison warden “Sapphire” Sam Hyder, at a Las Vegas strip club.

Maryanne didn’t get the opportunity to fire Guesto because he resigned, then immediately was hired by Ciavarella as a court administrator.

If all these people were related, this would be called incest.

Then There’s Tiger.

Tiger. He likes women. REALLY, likes women.

Rachel Uchitel.

Jamie Grubbs.

Kalika Moquin.

Cori Rist.

Jamie Jungers.

Mindy Lawton.

Holly Sampson.

Unidentified Alleged Mistress No. 8.

Unidentified Alleged Mistress No. 9.

Unidentified Alleged Mistress No. 10.

Joslyn James.

What do all these women have in common?

They’ve all been rumored to be doing the wild-thing with Tiger Woods, the golden boy of the PGA. From party girls who hang out in NYC nightclubs to porn stars, Tiger appears to have a penchant for heading over to the cheating side of town when he gets a burning sensation in his loins.

His pristine image that his handlers fought so hard to protect is suddenly tarnishing like silver in your mother’s china cabinet. It all started after Tig had one too many and cracked up his pimp-mobile outside his Florida mansion in the wee small hours of the mornin’. Since then the tabloids have been full of the sultry stories of Woods so-called affairs.

Word on the street is that Mrs. Woods has had enough and is heading off to Sweeden to live in her newly purchased $2.5 million home.

No word on whether Nike will be dropping Woods, but there are unconfirmed reports that condom maker, Trojans, is preparing to make him an offer as the company’s new spokesman.

"Put A Tiger In Your Tank." Or, "A Golfer's Guide to Driving."

Scott Sanfilippo — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 21:26:00 +0000

I’m not a golf fan.

The game to me is boring.

Before you ask, yes, I did play.

Once.

I’d much rather drive the cart and fat men don’t wear plaid.

So when Tiger Woods was involved in a car accident I didn’t think twice about it until I started hearing about the bizarre circumstances surrounding the crash.

Let me set the scene, it’s Friday morning, 2:25am, Woods leaves his estate driving the drug dealer’s ride of choice, a 2009 Cadillac Escalade when he slams into a fire hydrant and a neighbors tree. (I wonder what the marketing people over at Buick are saying about this.)

When the police arrive Mrs. Woods was seen hovering over Tiger as he lay in the street. The Mrs. heard the crash and ran out of the house wielding what else – a golf club – and proceeded to use the club to smash a back window to get her husband out of the SUV. I wonder if it were an iron or a wood?

Here’s where it gets tricky.

The police say alcohol wasn’t involved. I say, bullshit.

On the morning of the accident the National Enquirer ran a cover story about Tiger’s “mistress.” According to the Enquirer’s website:

Tiger Woods’ shocking car crash has put the world’s spotlight on Rachel Uchitel — the New York City party girl who has been caught up in a cheating scandal with the multimillionaire golf superstar, in a story reported exclusively by the NATIONAL ENQUIRER in its new issue.

Photo by: THE NATONAL ENQUIRER: Ashley Samson (left, blonde) & Rachel Uchitel (right, brunette)

Could this be the reason Tiger left the house in the wee small hours of the morning? Could he and the missus been in a heated argument over the article? Could the golf club been destined for him instead of the back window?

Enquiring minds want to know.

Tiger’s keepers aren’t saying much other than the standard, “he’s been in an accident, and is doing fine.”

Now folks, I’ve been known to down six or seven martini’s at a clip and know that drinking and driving makes for the deadliest of cocktails. In my most sober moment I’ve never taken out a fire hydrant and a tree before. So to say alcohol wasn’t involved doesn’t sit well with me.

Can this be a case of law enforcement aiding in the cover-up of a celebrity’s misfortune to avoid negative publicity? It stinks and the smell is getting stronger.

The notion of a potential cover-up is more important to me right now than whether he was having an affair with some gold-digger with implants. Nobody should be given “special” treatment because of their status, but it happens all the time, and I’m hoping it didn’t happen here, but I have my doubts.

If there indeed was a cover-up there are a lot of questions that need to be answered and the officials in charge of the investigation need to go. It will be interesting to see what happens as this story continues to unfold.

Fore!