I just finished noshing on some overdone, over-breaded chicken tenders and greasy french fries which my body will punish me for later when I’m 38,000 feet in the air. But the fries were sprinkled with sea salt so I think some part of that lunch may have been good for me.

I got to thinking about chickens as I dunked the tender into a ramekin of wing sauce. They’re a very versatile bird which us humans have managed to exploit completely. We use their eggs in cholesterol raising breakfast delicacies, enjoy their breasts, legs and thighs “original” or “extra crispy,” slather their wings in 20 different sauces and put our heads down at night on pillows filled with what used to keep them warm.

But what about the turkey?

This bird tends to only satisfy our craving for meat on Thanksgiving or if you happen to be at Disney World and have an intense desire to chew on a turkey leg. You can’t go to the golden arches and order Turkey McNuggets. Burger King has yet to introduce a Turkey Whopper. And I don’t see the Asian Turkey Salad on Wendy’s menu. Almost every good Asian-inspired restaurant has bird on the menu – duck and chicken – but no turkey.

Bad news for the chicken.

As we consume more and more chicken, the demand goes up. Someone said to me yesterday, “did you see the size of the breasts at KFC lately?” Not knowing whether I was stepping into a trap or not, I proceeded with caution. Unfortunately as the demand for chicken goes up, the chicken farmers need to rely on artificial means to get the birds to optimum size quickly and that may result in some chickens who are less bosomy than others.

I for one, enjoy turkey and look forward to the once a year treat complete with plenty of gravy, stuffing and instant mashed potatoes (as they taste much better than the peel-and-mash-by-hand type). Maybe it’s best we keep eating chicken and save the bigger bird for those special occasions.

After all, pumpkin pie just doesn’t taste as good with chicken as it does with turkey.

If you’re hungry for a pizza, you call a pizza shop.

Want some Chinese take away? Call the local Chinese restaurant.

Looking to get your car cleaned? Then go to the car wash.

You don’t need to put together a flow chart to in order to determine the outcome of the above examples. Common sense pretty much prevails.

On my way to dinner at Vino Dolce in Hanover Townsip, PA this evening, I passed a sign outside a business with a bit of an identity crisis. It’s a rather new establishment with an interesting way of marketing themselves. Billed as the “House of Pizza,” you would think that this is the place to grab one of the best pizzas in town, right?

Not really.

The “House of Pizza,” according to their own advertising, doesn’t specialize in the Italian delight that’s a favorite to millions! Instead, the speciality of the house is none other than the Greek inspired sandwich made of compressed lamb meat carved off a stick – the Gyro.

So what do people go to the “House of Pizza” for? A slice of New York or a bite of Athens? I’m not quite sure.

I’m just happy my dentist doesn’t have an identity crisis like this place does. I wouldn’t want to see a sign in front of his office saying, “John Smith, DDS – Specializing in Prostate Exams.” That would just be baaaaaaaaaaad.

Visit Vino Dolce Online - http://www.vino-dolce.com P.S. If you are looking for a pizza, Vino Dolce now offers some of the best Old Forge pizza this side of Main Street. Besides their regular menu of homemade Italian goodness, pizza is now available every night. Check out their website at http://www.vino-dolce.com for their menu and take a moment to sign up for their email list. Then when you stop in for a bite to eat, tell Dale & Renee I sent ya!

On a plane two weeks ago, the gentlemen in 1C struck up a conversation with me. Seems he takes the Allentown, PA to Fort Lauderdale, FL route almost a frequently as I do and he wanted to introduce himself. After the obligatory “where do you live” dialogue, his interest was piqued when I said “Wilkes-Barre/Scranton.”

Louie's? Portofino? McDonalds?

So Sunday night I did.

The first thing that hit me over the head like a big bag of “Duh!” was the menu, wine list, martini list presentation. I received a Louie’s menu, but the wine and martini lists were encased with reused folders bearing the Portofino name. Those familiar with Portofino will know that the first thing anyone would want to do is distance themselves from a restaurant known for poor service, even poorer reviews and bad food. Hence the reason it didn’t last long.

I called the server over and asked her if I was eating at Louie’s or Portofino. With a puzzled look, she asked why? I showed her the folders with the Portofino name on them and she said, “that’s the first time I noticed that.” She went on to explain that when the restaurant first opened, in order to get customers to know where the place was at, they were calling it Louie’s at Portofino, but now it’s just Louie’s.

The restaurant definitely has an identity problem, or they’re too cheap to order new menu covers. This is branding at its worst. A quick Google search for “Portofino, Wilkes-Barre, PA” will bring up plenty of sites offering less than satisfactory reviews of the former eatery. I know that if I were moving into that building, I would not even want to stock the same toilet paper Portofino had, yet alone reuse their menu covers.

If the former restaurant was successful, had a strong following of regulars and was well known in the community, I would say play off the former name as much as possible. In this instance, whoever suggested that the owner use the Portofino name failed miserably. The server indicated the use of the name was to let people know where the restaurant was. Well, it happens to sit next to a Bob Evans in a plaza occupied by other tenants which include FedEx Office, Verizon Wireless, Wendy’s and a credit union. Instead of saying, “Come to Louie’s in the former Portofino,” why not “Come to Louie’s on Highland Park Blvd. between Bob Evans and the credit union.”

With the restaurant now called just plain Louie’s, I think someone may have gotten the hint.

Now get rid of the menu covers.