I’m not a huge fan of McDonald’s. I’m more of a Wendy’s guy. The little red head with the freckles has better chicken sandwiches and she makes one hell of a chili. But there is one thing on the menu at the golden arches that I love besides the fries, and it’s their pies.

Whether it be a hot apple pie or one of the hard to find cherry, I rank them up there with the TastyKake ones for a quick, on-the-go snack. Craving a dose of cholesterol, I stopped at my local Mickey D’s for a bit of lunch and grabbed a pie for dessert.

I became curious with the packaging that surrounded the pastry that I love. On the box was a warning that, “I’m Hot” and a picture of a man who resembles Barack Obama clutching a woman with a bad hair-do who appears to be sucking on his cheek. Next to this couple is the fast food giant’s slogan, “…I’m lovin’ it.”

Have I been missing out on the aphrodisiac quality of the humble apple pie, or is it “new and improved” with the addition of spanish fly? The young man in the illustration seems to be “lovin’ it” by the look on his face and while we can see both of his hands wrapped around this young lady, I have to question where her right hand is. The particular location of her appendage may account for the gentleman’s strange facial expression.

I have yet to figure out what the design on the package has to do with its contents, but who am I to question it? I’m sure there’s been research done showing that suggestive packaging on pie boxes results in higher sales. In fact, I remember when the movie American Pie came out, my local bake shop had a hard time keeping up with the demand for this delectable desert.

So if you’re feeling a bit randy on this New Year’s Eve and want to ring in the new year with a bang, head on down to McDonald’s, grab a sack of pies, hand one to your significant other, say, “I’m Hot” and after a while the two of you will be “lovin’ it.”