Wyoming Valley West School District Superintendent Chuck Suppon is quoted as saying a fire in a boys lavatory at the Main Street Elementary School is being investigated “to see if it was started by someone, or just something that occurred that ended up marking [sic] paper towels flammable or some such cause.”
Oh Chuckie, you’re the sup, you’re an educated man, you should know that paper towels don’t spontaneously ignite just 15 minutes after the start of school. Admit it, one of your scallywags walked into the bathroom, lit the paper towels on fire hoping to get out of that 5th grade math exam this morning.
But maybe he knows something the rest of us don’t. Do paper towels ignite on their own? What about toilet paper? Kleenex?
Be afraid. Be very afraid.