Dear Family & Friends,
It’s hard to believe that another year has gone by. The past few months have been busy for us, especially me.
As many of you know, my third husband John lost his job at the muffler factory he worked in since September. One of the people he worked with was jealous when he bought me the ’86 Oldsmobile for my birthday and set him up. It’s total B.S. When he was fired, we sold the trailer and moved in with his sister-in-law, Annie, who is my sister too.
One day after I picked up the kids from Head Start, I caught him and Annie making out in front of the kerosene heater. John and me got divorced and he married Annie and we all live together now. I don’t have a steady boyfriend, but I do have several pen pals who are actually prisoners. I send them calling cards and we talk and one day I hope to marry one of them who I developed a special relationship with. Since we’re not married, I can’t get one of those consexual visits, so we just talk on the phone. He’s up for parole in 2017 and we started making plans for a spring wedding once he’s released.
Jenny from my first husband Alex, is now 6. I just registered her for Kindergarten. She starts in September 2011. She would have started this year, but she’s not potty trained yet. She’s a slow learner, ha ha! This summer Jenny got bit by a bat. The people in trailer next to us attract bats. One night she was out digging for night crawlers and a bat swooped out of the sky bit her on her ankle. Since the bat didn’t die, I figured it didn’t have rabies but we gave her Benedryl anyway. Poor thing slept all night.
The twins, Bill III and Bill IV, celebrated their 8th birthday this past June and their father, my second husband Paul, never showed up for their party at the Wilson Tavern. Paul hasn’t seen the boys since he divorced me the day after they were born, so I can’t expect too much I guess. Bill III is doing very well in school. On his last report card he got 3 C’s, 1 D and only 2 F’s, which is his best yet. His teacher said he’s not doing too well in math, but he wants to be a fireman when he grows up, and they don’t need to know math. Bill IV is being home schooled because he got expelled after setting a fire in the bathroom at school. I teach him about 2 hours a day and we go on lots of field trips – about two a day.
Lisa Ann had her sweet 16th birthday party on Halloween. She introduced her new boyfriend who owns his own tattoo emporium and is doing really well for himself. He is a little bit older than her, 28, but he takes really good care of her. When she got pregnant, they moved in together and he takes her to school every morning, picks her up at night and gave her a job in his shop. She’s being trained to do body piercing now and when she turns 18, she will be able to get her license and do piercings without worrying about being arrested for doing it under the table. They can’t get married yet, because he’s still married, but he’s getting divorced. His wife doesn’t want their three kids, so Lisa Ann is going to have her hands full with the new baby and his three boys.
I start a new job on January 3. I’m going to be the assistant to the assistant manager at the Arby’s right around the corner from our house. I never liked their food, but I guess for $7.35 an hour I can like it pretty quick. I’m going to be working about 15 hours a week, if I work more than that I won’t be able to get my government benefits any more, and they’re really good, so I have to make sure I don’t work too much.
That’s what’s happening in our little family. I have no idea what’s going on in yours since none of you ever call me anymore. I didn’t really kill the cats that you all accuse me of. It just got really, really hard living in the trailer with 14 of them and all the kids. I couldn’t help it if they got into the rat poison. That’s not my fault.