OMG! It’s Valentine’s Day!
Can you feel the excitement in my voice?
As a single guy of 40 (almost 41), it’s one of those holidays that I wish would just go away. Not because there’s no romance in my life, but because it screws with my normal routine.
For example, unless I want to get the “pity look” from couples sucking down champagne and eating pasta like the two dogs in Lady and the Tramp, I can’t go out for dinner tonight. Oh, I could go… but have you ever tried to get into a restaurant on Valentine’s Day?
It’s almost like New Years Eve when the people who only go to a restaurant once a year feel the need to have lobster and get drunk off a glass of cheap wine.
God, I hate that.
I could stay home and order a pizza. But do I really want a large with pepperoni and extra sauce in the shape of a heart?
I was thinking of going to the movies, but that would be worse than getting the “pity look.”
I’m watching my Facebook newsfeed fill up with pictures of flowers that people got delivered at work and at home, while the only thing I got delivered was the hot dog and fries I had for lunch.
The hot dog was kosher. It’s the only kind I’ll eat.
I did send flowers to some of my lady friends today. Granted they weren’t dozens of long stemmed American Beauty Roses, but it’s the thought that counts, right?
While they’re thinking about how sweet I was to remember them, all I can keep thinking about is the $39.98 “service charge” that was tacked on to the order. At least I can say I got screwed on Valentine’s Day.
Cupid’s holiday isn’t that bad, I guess. Neither is a bleeding hemorrhoid.
They’re both just a pain in the ass.